Depending on others — a vicious cycle

Unfortunately, this pattern can become a vicious cycle is incredibly hard to break, and tends to be self reinforcing.

Each abandonment leads to panic and induces either the partner or the medical/judicial system to contain the individual. Each time, the individual reinforces their understanding that they can’t survive on their own – they need the doctor, they need their partner. This increasing dependency bleeds out any sense of agency, making the individual increasingly fragile to stress. What happens when the doctor doesn’t pick up the phone next time? What happens when your partner forgets to check in? The individual learns they can’t survive, and becomes increasingly at risk for suicide.

Even if the individual gets rescued, each rescue becomes a bit more hollow. The connected position feels tainted by the well worn expectation of future threat, future panic, future emptiness and internal collapse. This drives the individual to a sense of hopelessness, feeling trapped in an endless cycle of rolling the rock up the hill just to watch it roll down again. This despair becomes unbearable, and the individual experiences extreme depression, suicidality or both.