Dysregulation Rollercoaster

The result is an unstable system

A great analogy for an unstable sense of self comes from the concept of equilibrium in physics. There are three types of equilibrium: stable, unstable and neutral.

Stable equilibrium is like a berry at the bottom of a bowl – if you disturb it – like pulling it up the side of the bowl with your finger, and let go, it will roll right back down to the bottom where it started.

Unstable equilibrium is like a ball at the top of a hill – if even a slight wind comes by, it will start rolling away, down the hill, and never return.

Neutral equilibrium is like a ball on a flat plan – if you nudge it, it’s not going to gather speed away from you, but it’s not going to roll back to you either.

In survival mode, the self is in an unstable equilibrium. Life is a veritable roller coaster of self assessment, accompanied by intense positive and negative feelings and impulsive actions.

This rollercoaster is what clinicians call “dysregulation” — the constant changes in emotions, the aggressive impulsive behaviors to “protect” against danger, and the constant upheavals in our understanding of our selves and others.