Needs
👉 Our brains prioritize our own needs over the needs of others when our survival is in question
🪜Belonging, the next step in the hierarchy, is fundamentally about how the self (you) relates to others (everything else that’s not you – people, organisms, our physical environment).
Let’s think about other people from an economic perspective.
If there are not enough resources to go around, other people are competition. If you eat, I don’t. It’s a zero-sum game. This “scarcity” mindset leads individuals to adopt a stance that it’s them against the world, and makes it difficult to develop a sense of intimacy and belonging. And for good reason! When we build intimate bonds, we often want to protect others as we protect ourselves. If there’s not enough to go around, then protecting others directly threatens our survival.
If there are enough resources to go around, then you getting food doesn’t threaten me getting food. Under these circumstances, other people can be complementary.
In this case, relationships decrease my risk – if I fail to find food one day, you can support me. If you fail to find food the next day, I can support you. Belonging to a community creates a safety net to hedge against our individual failures. Together we are more likely to survive 🤝. This is a core reason why economies and trade exist.
For economies to work, however, we have to trust that my sacrifice to support you today will be met with support from you when I next need it. Without mutual trust, the system doesn’t work. Because of this, even as part of a community, we need to pull our weight and contribute to meeting our own and others’ needs. Self-esteem reflects our confidence in our ability to meet our needs and those of others we care about – with self-actualization describing our ability to improve our skill and competence over time.
Because humans that effectively operate in groups have a greater chance of survival, humans have evolved as fundamentally social creatures with a proclivity for trust and interdependence. The need to belong is hardwired into our operating systems.
🤔 Reflection of the Day: Does your brain feel safe enough to trust and depend on others? If not, what’s compromising your sense of safety?Do you feel like you’re stuck on any particular rung of the pyramid? If so, which one?